Rent Van Helsing on Amazon Video (paid link)
Written by: Stephen Sommers
Directed by: Stephen Sommers
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Robbie Coltrane
Rated: PG-13
Watch the trailer
Plot
The famed monster hunter is sent to Transylvania to stop Count Dracula, who is using Dr. Frankenstein's research and a werewolf for nefarious purposes.
Verdict
It's an unrelenting assault on the senses, a movie where a lot of stuff
happens but none of it really matters. This movie wants to do everything, and it never slows down while relying solely on CGI and action. Trying to fit all the classic monsters in this only complicates a flimsy
story that needs more focus. This wanted to look good on paper with the stars, the monsters, and big actionb but it doesn't deliver any compelling moments or characters.
Skip it.
Review
Universal Pictures planned a sequel and announced a television series titled Transylvania before the film premiered. Despite some financial success, critics panned the movie and both properties were canceled soon after the movie released.
The opening is an homage to classic monster movies, displayed in black and white, invoking Doctor Frankenstein and his monster and the villages wanting to burn the castle down. Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) and Frankenstein have teamed up with the vampire interested in the monster.
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| Hugh Jackman plays Gabriel Van Helsing |
From there we shift to Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) fighting Mr. Hyde with an action packed introduction to the monster hunter and his weapons. Van Helsing is then charged by the church to kill Dracula and save Anna (Kate Beckinsale) and Velkan Valerious (Will Kemp). They are the last of their family line, and if Dracula kills them the entire lineage will forever be trapped in purgatory.
This movie throws so many characters and monsters on the screen with no characterization. It's easy enough to assume Van Helsing is good since his job is to kill Dracula, but we never see him do anything heroic other than fight monsters. There's a lot of monster fighting, even werewolves. It's like this movie has a mandate to not let more than a few minutes pass without a monster fight. I imagine when this movie had to trim length it cut story instead of action.
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| Kate Beckinsale, Hugh Jackman play Anna Valerious, Gabriel Van Helsing |
If the Valerious family pledged to defeat Dracula, doesn't Van Helsing killing him undermine that pact? Not in this movie. Dracula is undead. His children are undead, but for his children that's a problem. I'm not sure why other than it's the main plot of this movie. Dracula wants to use the Frankenstein technology to animate his children and conquer the world. Don't even start wonder about why his children are born in cocoons. How does that work?
This seems to have the sensibilities of a cartoon. The concept is what if we take all the Universal monsters and put them in one movie. That's why this has leaps on logic. With so much CGI the movie feels dated. It's just so mindless, a bunch of action scenes tied together with more action scenes.
The only thing that can defeat a vampire is a werewolf. So it's quite convenient that Van Heling becomes a werewolf. Now he's leveled up and can fight Dracula. The last fight sums up this movie. Whatever needs to happen will, and any character that will enhance the action will soon appear. This never slows down enough to develop plot, story, or characters.
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