Buy G.I. Joe: The Movie on Amazon Video (paid link)
Written by: Ron Friedman (written by), Buzz Dixon (story consultant), Roger Slifer (associate story consultant)
Directed by: Don Jurwich
Starring: Don Johnson, Burgess Meredith, Sgt. Slaughter, Kene Holliday
Rated: NR [TV-PG]
Watch the trailer
Plot
In this animated movie, the heroic G.I. Joe action force must oppose the ruthless Cobra organization that has secretly allied with a subterranean reptilian people who were their founders.
Verdict
It's a movie made to sell toys, so expectations are already low. This is built on action scenes with very little plot. It's mindless with lots of flashing lights. At no point did I like this.
Skip it.
Review
I remember watching this split into parts and aired as episodes of the series before school in the mornings. It felt more ambitious than other episodes, at least that's my memory. It's been a long time, and I'm skeptical of a straight to video released cartoon movie made to sell toys.
The villain Cobra Commander is ridiculed for his failings by Serpentor. All the other bad guys of course side with Serpentor, though he's soon captured in a fight with the Joes. Just a few minutes in, and this seems like it's going to be a difficult watch. It's mindless, not that this cartoon is known for depth of story. Animated movies don't have to be solely a marketing tool, but this is clearly riding on name recognition. It's a collection of generic scenes.
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| Pythona and Serpentor |
This may be better than the cartoon series, but I'm not going to do that research. Watching this is chore enough. It's mindless fighting punctuated with generic military type scenes. The Joes train new recruits for no other reason than this has time to fill, and we're introduced to Falcon, the younger brother of Duke.
We're provided the origins of Cobra Commander, created by an underground reptilian species. For his failures he's punished by being turned into a snake-like man. To escape the underground world he teams up with G.I. Joe Roadblock.
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| Roadblock and Cobra Commander |
In a battle with Serpentor, Duke is stabbed through the heart with a spear. Later it's just a coma as everyone cries. It's clear this sequence was rewritten. I get why. Killing Duke is a crazy swing for a kid's show. The original conclusion inspired The Transformers (1986) movie to kill Optimus Prime which incidentally released first and to theaters. Due to the backlash, this movie rewrote the script.
This movie operates on the idea that children like lots of fighting and things happening on screen. It's so mindless. The only part I actually remember from this movie is Cobra Commander turning into a snake and specifically falling into a river. I'm not surprised. This isn't memorable
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| Title Card |
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