Rent Conan the Barbarian on Amazon Video (paid link)
Written by: Robert E. Howard (based on the character created by), John Milius and Oliver Stone (written by), Edward Summer
(story, uncredited)
Directed by: John Milius
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Max von Sydow, Gerry Lopez, Sandahl Bergman
Rated: R
Watch the trailer
Plot
A powerful warrior seeks to avenge the genocide of his people and the murder of his parents at the hands of a snake cult.
Verdict
I like a movie that can tell a narrative with very little dialog because at that point it has to rely on story. In turn the production design does a lot of work. There aren't many viking fantasy movies, so this manages to stand out in the crowd. It's a simple story of revenge, but Conan stumbles into the job as he was content living as a gladiator champion. When circumstances change and he has the chance to avenge his parents, he takes the opportunity. The problem is that he must defeat a snake worshiping cult's leader. It's unique and different. That's what sets it apart.
Watch It.
Review
The origin of Conan begins when he was a child and barbarians attacked his village. They take the children, forcing them to work a giant mill The difficult work makes Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) incredibly strong. When you look that strong, you become a gladiator. After a rocky start, Conan becomes quite adept and adored. That leads to training and education.
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| Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Conan the Barbarian |
There's very little dialog in the movie. It feels like the retelling of some kind of legend, and the production design only adds to the fantasy. The set design and world building is especially well done in adding to the mythic feel. I wish the story didn't resort to so many shortcuts. The movie is a photo album of Conan's biggest moments.
Conan is freed though it's unclear why. Even the narrator doesn't know, stating he was a wild animal caged too long. He stumbles upon adventure, finding a warrior's burial room and a sword. From there he encounters a witch and gains a sidekick, Subotai (Gerry Lopez). It's quite the streak of good luck. Conan decides to raid a tower because he hates snakes. That and it's full of riches. They have no plan whatsoever but run into Valeria (Sandahl Bergman) who also wants to raid the tower. The characters in this movie have impeccable timing.
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| Gerry Lopez, Sandahl Bergman, Arnold Schwarzenegger play Subotai, Valeria, Conan |
What this does right is relying on set design and spectacle instead of dialog. Speech only harms the story being told.
A giant snake in the tower looks a bit comical, but it's better than CGI. Conan and his accomplices are captured because they recklessly spent the treasure they gained. You can't spend money all around town without someone noticing. While Conan is caught, the king tasks him with saving his daughter and defeating Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). That's the same person that kidnapped Conan as a child. He readily agrees.
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| Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Conan the Barbarian |
Conan is quick to attack yet found and nearly killed. A wizard does what he can so that Conan can tackle the task again, launching another attack. It's one of those movies that's not bad, but since there are so few fantasy barbarian movies there also isn't much competition. The production design does a great job. A lesser movie would use dialog to try and fill in the several blanks. The movie is better for not attempting it. I like it for being different, even from movies at the time. It's a wild adventure, and it would have been even crazier to see someone looking like Schwarzenegger at the time. He was one of the largest actors for a long time, and in 1982 no actors worked out like that.
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