Wednesday, December 6, 2017

The Hitman's Bodyguard Movie Review

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)
Rent The Hitman's Bodyguard on Amazon Video
Written by: Tom O'Connor
Directed by: Patrick Hughes
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Elodie Yung
Rated: R

Plot
A top bodyguard takes on the job of protecting the world's best hit man, who's bound for the International Criminal Court in the Netherlands to testify against an Eastern European country's ruthless ex-ruler.

Verdict
This is just dull. The comedy is forced and the action is uninspiring. It checks the boxes of an odd couple action movie with the twist that a bad guy must be protected. I link it to a cartoon as it feels like a caricature of a movie. While the action sequences are completely implausible, the movie is so far away from being self aware that it misses the mark of movies it's surely chasing like The Kingsman and Crank.
Skip it.

Review
A stylishly edited opening bolstered my well founded fears this was all style and little substance. The opening is edited with three scenes on the screen at once showing Ryan Reynold's wealth and style. He's a top tier bodyguard, but that goes downhill fast. He loses his car and his watch, pretty much everything.

This attempts humor frequently, and it's not terrible, it's just cliche. Every aspect of this movie feels like it's stealing from a better movie. You've got a terribly evil warlord played by Gary Oldman. He never seems that menacing until the end, though he plays into a lot of bad guy tropes.

Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson play the odd couple. The twist on the formula is that Reynolds is the bodyguard that must protect the hit man, a guy that isn't so nice. They also have a past which leads to strife. The chemistry isn't quite there.
This just feels like a cartoon with little character development and stolen jokes. There's a gag with Salma Hayek's roommate that is repeated too many times. It was funny the first time, but not the second or third. The development we do get is boring and predictable. It's almost like this movie tried to uncreative.

The action is so over the top it's silly. This movie isn't self aware which would add a welcome layer of nuance. At one point Reynolds steals a motorcycle, jumps off the sidewalk onto the roof of boat, then off the boat to ram into a bad guy with a rocket launcher that's taking entirely too long to aim just to set up this ridiculous scenario. It's trying to be slick, but it's too cute. The action is impossibly timed to always benefit the protagonists. This is trying for The Kingsman and John Wick but ends up being completely derivative. The underlying story is paper thin. If this went for tongue in cheek or full crazy like Crank it would at least be more interesting. It doesn't try to do anything unique. The upside is the soundtrack isn't bad. The CGI is bad.

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