I Used to be Funny

I Used to be Funny (2023)

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Written by: Ally Pankiw
Directed by: Ally Pankiw
Starring: Rachel Sennott, Olga Petsa, Jason Jones
Rated: -[R]
Watch the trailer

Plot
Sam, a stand-up comedian struggling with PTSD, weighs whether or not to join the search for a missing teenage girl she used to nanny.

Verdict
It's well made and feels painfully realistic, but it's not an easy watch. Sam is traumatized, struggling everyday. Interspersed are flashbacks from before her attack. I felt so much sympathy for her, and knowing what's to come makes it all the more ominous. While Sam manages to confront her feelings and this has a positive ending, it's not easy getting there. This is insight into how trauma affects all aspects of life and from that time point forward, and this makes it just a little too real. This in no way is a happy movie.
It depends.

Review
This delves into how one act of violence affects all aspects of life and derails everything. Sam (Rachel Sennott) was attacked, and that creates a fear in her. It's not just that, but a disdain for people and events around her at the time. The act of violence is a black hole that destroys everything in its wake. This isn't a fun movie, but it captures what it's like to deal with depression and PTSD, at least as far as I can surmise. I felt sympathy and compassion for Sam as she struggles to reconcile the past and present.

From the beginning it's clear Sam is dealing with trauma and depression. She's become reclusive, afraid to venture out of the house. She has a terse encounter with Brooke (Olga Petsa) and reports it. We see snippets of Sam's life of how she met Brooke and became her nanny. There's a distinct difference between then and now, and that's the point. This also makes clear that Sam's trauma didn't stop after the event. There's a clip of social media where she's lambasted for lying, taking advantage of the #metoo movement, and not being funny. The movie is a stream of consciousness as Sam encounters objects and situations that cause her to remember past experiences. Through that we piece together what happened in the past.

Rachel Sennott plays Sam

Watching this, I'm struck by the difficulty and realism. It's a detailed look at someone post trauma and how their life has been affected by it. It's uncomfortable and it's supposed to be. We want to know what happened while dreading the event due to our compassion for Sam. Even if you can guess what happened, it's agonizing when we arrive at that point.

This is a glimpse at how broad abuse can be. Sam is traumatized and it perpetuates through the investigation, court case, online comments, and people she meets. Her defense is to withdraw. As she states, she has a negative reaction to all of the people in her life at that time. Sam now struggles to find peace. Brooke represents that time in Sam's life. By seeing Brooke, Sam must confront all of the feelings she has around the event, all the feelings she's tried to avoid. The events are never isolated, catching many people in their wake. This movie is just a small insight into something like this.